My child is such a perfectionist and
asks so many questions that it drives me crazy!
Everything has to be just right or she complains the whole
day. I find myself yelling at her when I don't mean to.
I just want a good relationship and a fun summer, but she's
such a loner! Why is it like this and what can I do?
appears that your child may have a high "C" personality style.
Some "C" definitions are Competent, Conscientious,
Calculating, and Careful. "Cs" need
quality answers, excellence, and value. You, on the
other hand, may have the more Inspiring, Interactive,
and Influential "I" personality style. "Is" ideal
environment is fun, friendly and exciting!
The most important thing we should learn about our personality
differences is to stay in control and appreciate each other.
When you parent a "C" child, you feel their focus on quality.
"Cs" ask many questions because they need many answers!
Hang in there. She wants to understand how things work
and the proper procedure for everything.
Remember, your child's not acting this way to drive you crazy.
Give her special attention by making distinct plans to spend
quality time together. Because she prefers private time
and working on tasks, she may have to be persuaded to
understand the value in this. Use carefully chosen words
to express encouragement and reinforce that sometimes everyone
makes mistakes. That's how we learn and grow.
I feel like I'm in competition with my
teenage daughter. We're both very outgoing and have lots of
friends, but she gets mad when her friends (guys and girls) give me
more attention than her. Her friends say I'm a lot of fun and
they like being around me! They even like the way I
dress! What do I do about my daughter getting so jealous?
It sounds like the two of you could both be high
"I's." You probably have a lot of fun together when
things are going well between you, but compete for the limelight and
attention otherwise. Ask yourself, what's more important here
-- my relationship with my daughter or my relationship with her
friends? If you're an "I," you love friends and fun,
but you must tone down your "I" personality style a bit
and focus on the "mom" role. Her friends may be
around in the future and they may not. Think long term.
You want your daughter feeling safe and loved, not in competition
with her own mother. Enjoy plenty of friends elsewhere.
Supporting and building your daughter's self esteem for the future
must be a priority today.
Why is it such a battle to get my son
to do his homework? He's always on the go with friends and
procrastinates doing what he's suppose to do. I was never like that as a
child and always did my homework right away. It's so
What you may be experiencing is
your son's high "I" personality style - outgoing, preferring friends
instead of completing the
necessary tasks at hand. Your role as a parent is to help set
guidelines and perimeters for your child.
That doesn't mean to expect him to act and think like you do --
homework will never be a priority like it was for your personality
style (High "C?"), but your strength can help him
establishing consequences and rewards. Understand, high "I's" love
attention and rewards! Mini deadlines (instead of the typical
-- night before it's due!) and your ability to pre-plan can help
propel him to homework success!
I am supportive of my very driven husband in all his exciting
business ventures. However, it worries me that he makes too
many quick decisions without thinking and we get in jams. Why
does he do that?
It appears that your husband may have a high "D"
personality style. "D's" love challenges, taking
charge, and accomplishing new and exciting things. However,
their motto could be, "Ready, Fire, Aim!" given their
desire to fire ahead at all costs. The most important thing we
should learn about our personality style is to stay in control. A "D's"
out of control ambition
and determination can be dangerous. However, a "D"
remaining in control can be amazingly productive and successful as
long as they think through the consequences ahead of time.
I am supervisor in charge of about 45 sales people.
What can I do to motivate the sales people who don't like to go out
and make calls, visit customers, etc.? They're good at
submitting all the required paperwork, whereas the people who do
well in sales hardly ever get their paperwork in on time.
Help! I don't understand!
The high "I" personality styles are great with
people. They love to talk, talk, talk. "I's"
are outgoing and it is very difficult for them to
do what is normally classified as the reserved "C" type
detailed work. This is precisely why the sales reps who do their
paperwork ("C" behavior) on time don't do as well in sales
("I" behavior). The "C"
personality style is more task-oriented than people-oriented.
They might consider and discover that they're more successful in a
task-oriented type position instead of sales. This isn't to
say that we can't have a career in a position that's opposite of our
personality style, but we generally find our happiness lies where we
fit the best.